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Exotica erotica is rife in online dating sites.
Plenty of women of color will tell you that they’ve had close encounters with white guys just want to tick another competition off their sexual bucket list.
A lot of us sigh and move ahead.
But one black Irish blogger isn’t standing because of it any longer.
Filomena Kaguako has written a available page to need men stop fetishising her.
She joined dating web site a good amount of Fish in an attempt to find ‘something serious’ – but has since been forced to delete the app after discovering that lots of for the guys about it just desired to see what it is like to have intercourse having a black girl.
‘I have been around in Ireland for 17 years and I’ve been searching for men who don’t view me personally and just see the fact I’m black colored,’ Filomena says.
‘ I want them to look at me personally as being a person that is whole.
‘I’ve noticed that Irish men fetishise black women. I think the reason being in Ireland relationships that are interracial as common as other places.’
She states that the main reason numerous men approach her is because intercourse having a woman that is black viewed as something new – unlike males in places like London or New York.
‘It’s about being looked at ( being a black colored woman), as just a statistic or something to tick off a bucket list’.
Therefore, Filomena has published a letter that is open her web log to your men of Ireland:
There’s more to us than our colour.
There’s more to us than our appearance.
There’s more to us compared to human anatomy that you have unjustly exotified since you refuse to view what we could possibly offer you intellectually.
We’ve depth. We have character. We have value.
So please stop sexualising us.
Whenever you sexualise us you don’t make you feel gorgeous. You don’t make one feel unique. You don’t make one feel unique. You make one feel like an item you will sooner or later get bored stiff of and throw out after having derived pleasure that is maximum us.
Stop sexualising us.
Since when you sexualise us you’re simply reminding us which you don’t actually see us. You don’t see us for what or who we have been. The truth is absolutely nothing greater than a real facet of us. The truth is a carnel desire and some body with whom you want to explore your insatiable black woman fetish.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us we can’t assist but wonder how much longer you’ll stick around after you can get tired of the pigment of the outer skin.
Stop sexualising us.
Since when you sexualise us you’re damaging our spirit. Tearing up our heart. You’re instilling an insecurity in us about something that we have to be happy with.
Stop sexualising us.
A conquest, a tool because when you sexualise us you’re telling us that we will never amount to anything more than a checklist.
It is degrading. Its diminishing. Its devaluing.
So just why do you continue steadily to sexualise us?
I will be not just a commodity.
I am not a automobile for you really to test drive one time since you’ve arrived at the realisation that you’ve yet to use a black one.
I wasn’t brought to this globe to explore your sexual curiosity and I do not exist to fulfil your sexual needs.
Dear Irishman, the time that is next set your green eyes on me personally, remember this:
There’s more to me personally than my colour.
There’s more to me than my appearance.
There’s more to me compared to the human body because you refuse to look at what I can offer you intellectually that you have unjustly exotified.
I’ve level. I’ve character. I’ve value, so please stop sexualising me personally.
Filomena states: ‘To me, commenting on my competition as if it’s relevant at all is demoralising and devaluing.
‘Over the last few buddhist and single dating site months, since I downloaded a great amount of Fish, Tinder and OK Cupid, I’ve been experiencing this type of mindset.
‘Men will communicate with me and state they think I’m beautiful and sexy, however it’s more often than not due to my battle.
‘I’ve had it from a number of people – maybe seven or eight away from 10 males will comment on the actual fact I’m black colored. It’s a really lot.’
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She states that she’s had ladies contacting her off the back of her post, saying that they’ve experienced the thing that is same.
‘This is not just black women though – it’s Asian females too. It’s not only me personally experiencing this.
‘Because of dating in the past to my experiences, it’s coloured all the interactions I’m going to have with males as time goes by.’
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