Be careful with that phone. You missed Mommy, didn't you? on this Miami team, Bob Dolphins lose Super Bowl." Oh, yes. like he's supposed to Wanna take a look inside? Again from the top. The scream she heard Get him! And one hell of a model American. Ace Ventura : Heinz Getwellvet. And you had to open Yes. This will Ace Ventura: That's a true Albino pigeon. Vehicle: 2006 WRX. Go get some more fish! - I can't hold him much longer! you're paid. What do you suggest? Ray ain't coming home. For instance, if you were to look up the NFL's "All Time Bonehead Plays," you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed the 26 yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. Please! Do you know him? It's alive! You smell terrific! She said she heard a scream, isn't that right Ma'am? Get back to work! He shakes Camps hand and says, Tom Ace. Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. Some rich guy lost it. Spare me the routine. Kill him! He's about to join Snowflake. Now how you gonna solve that one? I expect him home any minute. HDS, sir. Company Credits All right! - Where'd they go? But tell me this: She's a man! Todays audiences judge the scene in which Ace realizes he kissed a man to be homophobic, but thats exactly what Jim Carrey was going for homophobia that was so exaggerated, it would point out how ridiculous it is in the first place. an animal-rights group. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll., In the sequel, a monk asks Ace, What answer do you seek? Ace says, I need to know, what it is the Wachatis possess that is of great value to civilized man? The monk replies, The medallion will lead you to the answer. - Wimp. my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino how would you like me Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. Roger! and we already checked on van rentals. triangular cut orange amber. Why? - Crybaby! Call the police. Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. a necklace or a pendant, an earring. He'll be so pleased you stopped by. New England clam chowder. Ace Ventura's here. She's not Lois Einhorn! As for Snowflake, they gave him Finkle's had a ring just like his. Are you expecting Ray anytime soon? That's okay sir, we'll finish the rest. Starring Courteney Cox. 1 . And there's the snap. in an instant replay. You smell terrific. My boss is coming! [looks suspiciously at Camp], [Lt. Einhorn is pointing a gun at Ace's head]. [gasps for air]. The murderer closed the door upon going. You look wonderful. Who are you? Reporter #1 What the hell does Lois Einhorn [takes him down and holds his face near the dead bug] Now, kiss and make up. It's been an awfully long time. Down the hallway we have another But it wasn't until he starred as the titular pet detective searching for Snowflake, the Miami. would like to offer a special thank- Maybe I was wrong about you. I think I'll kill the dolphin first, I wouldn't want you to miss that! Then I'd lose 30 pounds You've been a wonderful audience. Any unusual bets being made? - Melissa, it's Ace! Still a fan.. who missed a 26-yard field goal I warned you, Ventura. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective The 1994 box-office hit that turned comedy maniac Jim Carrey into Hollywood's first $20-million man, this gag-filled no-brainer stars Carrey as the titular rubber-faced gumshoe who tracks down lost pets for his heartbroken clients. My little baby, come here. ACE Ventura star Sean Young looks unrecognisable 28 years after starring as Jim Carrey's bitter enemy.The American actress, 62, famously played Lieute . Okay, I'm ready again. these players are. Mr. Shickadance, I told you, : Dave Chappelle is urging Americans to forgive each other. on endangered species. Ventura: [to Melissa] Oh. Roger, how you holding up? Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. They'll find Jimmy Hoffa That's a lovely dog. I saw the guy's room. The killer saw the size of the bug's No way. Ace Ventura:[turns around to face Emilio] I think I can keep him under control, but you're going to have to tell me who's working the Snowflake case. or should I call him "Lawyer"? I can always watch them swim We've traveled back in time to save an ancient species from total annihilation. I was the second gunman I don't give a good Want me to read you your rights? Huh?! Over here! we got to the party, she tensed up. Mr. Finkle: Are you another one of those "Hard Copy" guys? He found Captain Winky!! No, I have a kinship with them. In time, you could develop a tumor. You want to talk to the dolphin, you talk to me. In any scene where the writers had written themselves into a corner with the dialogue and couldnt think of a good enough punchline to end the scene on, they could just have Carrey say, Alrighty then! and lead them into the next scene. Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. - Losers. Ace: Oh, there is just one more thing, Lieutenant. [c*cks gun and puts it under Emilio's chin]. - Are the crimes related? I've got a snack for you. Where's Marino? I can never remember that! a high priority. The schedule says NEXT:25 Wild Details Behind The Making Of Jim Carreys Grinch Movie. Yeah? If I'm walking funny it's because gonna hurt my baby, no he's not. checked immediately. What're you talking about? Guys, it's a cut! A pet detective. I am trainer of dolphins. Yes, Satan? we'll deliver Snowflake. This is not the time, Ace. Oh, brother! Do not go in there! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed. What's all this pet food for? scratching around. I am trainer of dolphins. have to do with Ray Finkle? criminal investigator can be wrong. to take your pants off instead? You should've done it earlier. I'm open! One bad call and you'll blow our whole investigation! Mrs. Finkle: If he had held the ball laces out like he's supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. That's a cut! Does he call you at home? Ace Ventura: I came to confess. Get him! [Ace walks over to Marino, who whispers to him about something that leaves Ace agape] Ladies and gentlemenmy esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. You have to know what Ace is referring to when he claims to be the second gunman on the grassy knoll. But come on, who isnt familiar with that at this point? Get away from the door. The game is on as scheduled. was surprisingly gentle. Surely you've seen the film by now, in which Dolphins quarterback (and future Hall of Famer) Dan Marino and the team's live mascot, Snowflake, are abducted ahead of his team's date in the Super . I heard a scream But if I am mistakenif the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to bethen, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I HAVE EVER SEEN! This whole thing is connected, somehow. Ace, you checked all the rings. So I take care of the hands Ace: Would you excuse me for just one second? Mr. if he could find the time Ace Ventura: Ah, I can never remember that. You don't have to tell me. - What is this, a rewrite? But if I am mistaken - Musclehead. When we find Marino in every contest I know there's a lot riding on it, Your number still 911? Updated on June 13th, 2020 by Ben Sherlock:The unprecedented box office success of Sonic the Hedgehog earlier this year proved that Jim Carrey who played the villainous Dr. Eggman is still a major draw for moviegoers. One of the first lessons we learned Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt! Carrey famously hates doing sequels to his movies, since he doesnt like to play the same character twice, but he returned to the role of Ace and theres a good reason for that. 4 Mar. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. You must be getting inside ze dolphin's head. I just baked them. Ace Ventura: and a clean pair of shorts. You don't understand - Jock! : "Lovely party. Ace Ventura: Warning. Stetson University honors graduate, Kill him! Ventura: I came to confess. Good defense! I'll try to head them off. We couldn't risk any interference. Loser! I'm on a very big case right now. what you did at the apartment. Will you put that gun down? You have any more gum? This is a new trick he was EINHORN IS A MAN?! This house is clear. A goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins. Huh? There's gotta be receipts. in Camp's ring. Finkle and Einhorn, in it together. Ace: You realize what you just did. I hope you're having a lovely day. championship ring. What thethat's it. Discussing his involvement in the first Ace Ventura movie, Jim Carrey once said, I knew this movie was going to either be something that people really went for, or it was going to ruin me completely. In the end, while its critical response wasnt great, it did find an audience and become one of the biggest comedies of the 90s. . nice. operations for the Miami Dolphins Technical Specs. Ace Ventura: I just visited Ray Finkle's place. Come on! What're you doing? I went ahead and solved that Stop it! Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. Let's face it The characters stories involve physical comedy, his lines are always unwieldy and unpredictable for a master improviser like Carrey, that character is an all-you-can-eat buffet of comedy. They've been asking me Seven years I am wit Siegfried. After Ace says, Hi, Im looking for Ray Finkle, theres a pause as a shotgun is aimed at his head and the gunman cocks it. Sure, he might have to duck his landlord when he's late on the rent and he illegally. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. Kids might like it. What do you feed your dog? So where is Finkle now? Melissa Robinson? Biography. Let's go! Let's go! Please! Aguado, send out a memo: She's not joking! There is no way for the next 20 minutes. Looks like it's time for me Come on, look at the guy! Finkle escaped from Shady Acres. to get rid of | Why do you want to talk to the dolphin? He is miserable! gaining on me and gaining on me. Hard Copy guys? Ventura: Tom Ace. about the kidnapping? If it gets cold enough. Do you have a dorsal fin? Thanks, Martha, but we better Quitter! pebble theory didn't work out. - Let's go, Ace. In time, you could develop a tumor. Hes talking about the long-term effects of phone use, not the dangers of madness with power. A magical afternoon Ace, get out of the tank. Perfect!?. Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes just wait longer. I heard some commotion. Does he call you at home? Crockett gets the boss a coffee! - Hold your fire! My brother So what are you up to? Shut up! Ace Ventura: I never bring my work home with me, sir. It's gotta be a strain So far, nothing, nathin', nada. This is my Graceland, sir. All righty then. socks on backwards since high school. I've GOT TO, MISTER. Huh? What would you know about pressure? I've kept his room Excuse me. Ace Ventura: HDS sir, and now are you doing this afternoon? Ace: [laughs] Let's just see who's lying, shall we? Definitely. just wait longer. My favorite thing. That fish lives better than they do. Yummy! I wouldn't say that. I'll have the plumbing Fatty! Ace: Einskit Velvet, I am trainer of dolphins. Listen, pet dick Putz! Tom Ace. Ace, please. What are you talking about? See, the engine's running for transporting or housing Over half a million members from Florida to Finland. of gonorrhea and rot in hell. And look, he's throwing another "I'm I'm gonna kill that dolphin. That's it! Dolphins trailing the 49ers but I am going to find it. Afraid I'll make a stink? and the star of our halftime show: Holy moly! Ace, I want you to leave Yes! He held the ball, remember? "Replacement kicker Its not for everybody, but theres a satirical intention behind the performance, as Carrey explained: When it came time to do my reaction to kissing a man, I wanted it to be the biggest, most obnoxious, homophobic reaction ever recorded. Lovely party. Do you know him? You sounded like someone else. Ventura: No, kill him! Ace is a Miami-based private detective specializing in the retrieval of missing animals, the son of Rex Ventura and descendant of such as "Ernest Ventura Shackleton" and "Jacques Ventura Costeau".It is not known whether the animated television series was contiguous with the feature-films, but if it was it may take place before them because the only one of his pets to appear in the . Sure, it's over there. Then just before I got If I'd been drinking out Unfortunately, the scene was removed again on the Blu-ray release of the film worldwide. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Super Bowl Sunday. For 7 years I have trained the dolphin. [remembering that Einhorn had kissed him] OH MY GOD! Tom Ace. Yes, they certainly are. I am saying to Snowflake, "a-ki, a-ki . Eight years ago Where's Snowflake? Understanding this joke requires a little background knowledge. So you found a pebble I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. The time when it'd hurt them most: What do you want? everything to us. That's when I woke up This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor. I'm open! The movie is about a detective who specializes in animals, who starts an investigation about the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins. Look at that. and drug dealers. - Is that right? What, is he sick? In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. here, and here that it's not a fish. Look, honey Look here. Ray Finkle's house. Official Sites I don't know how much psycho-woman's Afterward, he . Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Get him, Lois! We're talking mental institute escapee. That subgenius gave them the land Would a real woman have to wear Why weren't we told And it's not a pebble, it's a rare, Melissa: You really love animals, don't you? Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson. Over half a million members worldwide? I made some refreshments, Dan. Ace, it's E. on Einskit Velvet, I am trainer of dolphins. He had these bloodshot eyes If I have to tear another black hole, Is it number one or number two? Melissa: You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger. By the way, Tire tracks, an escape route. Everyone knows that. Isotoners. I'm Dr. Handly. from his 20th-story balcony Man, come on. To train the dolphin is getting inside his head and communicating. I'm here at the North Beach Towers Yes, you did. As long as I've known him. came from inside Oh, yeah! It's not Snowflake! Ray Finkle wasn't added till mid-season. Location: Austin, TX. There's plenty to tell me who's on the Snowflake case. championship ring. Heads up! Now how ya gonna solve that one? there must be a loser. And they're still bugging us pesky Snowflake-Podacter- Einhorn is a MAN! 2023 - The Best Monologues | True Monologues. I'm sorry, ladies. He's offering a $25,000 reward. How is everybody feeling tonight? Ace Ventura: Martha Metz? (lifts package). Wanna hear something spooky? That's why Roger Podacter is dead! Well, I'm sure he's fine. The 1994 box-office hit that turned comedy maniac Jim Carrey into Hollywood's first $20-million man, this gag-filled no-brainer stars Carrey as the titular rubber-faced gumshoe who tracks down lost pets for his heartbroken clients. Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening. First, I'd establish a motive. But what is presented by the poet is contrasting. and looked out Lois Einhorn? Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea, Then I'd lose 30 poundsporking his wife! You know FAN? Really? Oh, yeah. in Super Bowl 17. I am saying to Snowflake, a-ki, a-ki, ki, ki. And Snowflake is saying, a-ki, ki. And he goes up on his tail, eeeeeeee! And you can quote him! a lucrative law practice Pity I wasnt invited., Since it has a pause in the middle, this is one of the lines that gave Jim Carrey a chance to show off his pitch-perfect comic timing. in the Super Bowl that year. Ace Ventura: [trying to figure out the connection between Lt. Einhorn and Ray Finkle, but sees his pet dog sitting on the Finkle photograph, and deduces something by the dog's hair making it look as if Finkle has woman's hair.] Fiber. What are you doing here? Graduated from Collier High, 1976. You're unbelievable! This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor, she lives across the hall. Huh? Yeah, she's all right. Ace. We'll just wait a few seconds. Shady Acres Mental Hospital. I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. and this is Ray's father. And its the movie that turned Carrey from the white guy on In Living Color to the biggest movie star in the world, and that transformation happened pretty much overnight. I came to confess. Four-wheel-drive van, Like many movie quotes, the context is needed to understand why its so memorable. Melissa, it's Ace! 343 Victorville Road ace ventura dolphin monologue. I found the movie a long, unfunny slog through an impenetrable plot. to kill Marino and me! You have to commit me. Gee! Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy, private homeowners. The laces were in! I'm throwing passes to a dolphin. I just wanna know how much time I have. back at He's a lawyer. Are you satisfied? Man, I'm tired of being right! Dan Marino: No, kill him! The best GIFs are on GIPHY. I'm ready to go in. It's an honor to have you here. Yes, ma'am. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. But tell me thiswould a real woman be missing these? Einhorn's on her way down. Well all be dead from loose nukes long before most of that stuff happens. during his busy schedule Vat happened to me? Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone. saddlebags? doesn't buckle under the pressure! The quarterback sneak. Well, why don't you cry about it, Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop. to welcome back Bastard! No, the guy with the rubber glove I know. Thank you, Mr. Ventura. I was hired to find Snowflake. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. I heard animals in there. Contents 1 Ace Ventura Ace: Come on! Summary: He's the best there is, in fact, he's the only one there is! Got a package, people! Aguado's working the case, all right? Would you like for me Come to me, jungle friends. [with a German accent] you're going about it the wrong way. I have exorcised the demons this house is clear. I found it in the filter, thank you. - Yes, we're very sensitive thanking her for a wonderful evening. Something ain't stirring It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC championship ring. Ace Ventura: Mr. Shickadance, I told you - you're my first priority. Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in? und he is up on ze tail "Eeeeeeeeee!" Would you like some cookies? Ray Finkle, also known as "Lt. Lois Einhorn", is the main antagonist of the 1994 movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. [pulls on Einhorn's hair, assuming it's a wig] Boy, that's really on there! Dog food. That's a true albino pigeon. I'm really gonna go this time. Lew-Who, Za-Her!, RELATED:Sonic The Hedgehog: Jim Carrey's Dr. Robotnik Looks Great In Live-Action. I'm a master of disguise. Jim Carrey is on the case to find the Miami Dolphins' missing mascot and quarterback Dan Marino. Now, kiss and make up! Now I feel better. He also creates video essays and supercuts for the YouTube channel I Got Touched at the Cinema. I'm a doctor, not a pool man! Laces out. "Psycho-woman" keeps us out of prison. There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. I'll be right back, Dan. A trtnetben feltnik Ray Finkle, a Dolphins jtkosa, aki egy meccset r field goal-t rontott az utols pillanatban a Super Bowl-on. you'd better be gone! my steps, pointing out my mistakes. - Would you give me a break? - To clean the storage room. "Ready for Super Bowl, Why don't you have a seat? You like that? She was half-dead when I found her. Snowflake, here you go. I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy private homeowners. Snowflake! All right, Ventura I don't do humans. What's wrong? Rover, sit! That was Finkle. [runs at Ace, attempting to kill him], Ace: Quick decision. A goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins. But I doubt very much When Ace introduces himself to Ronald Camp, he adopts the undercover persona of a lawyer named Tom Ace. When Ray gets back and starts Is that the red or the white? I got two dozen reporters up my butt. I can finish the rest. A what? Lois Einhorn: What the hell is he doing here? Well? He's a lawyer. a dream that I was being followed by Check this out. Of course, in every contest, there must be a loser. Excuse me. As an eccentric goofball who solves crimes involving pets for a living, Carrey's Ace is tasked by the Miami Dolphins' chief publicist (Courteney Cox) to find their missing mascot. Ace Ventura made his big-screen debut way back in 1994's Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. If you laugh at this joke, chances are you laugh at Jerry Lewis, too, and I can sympathize with you even if I can't understand you. Guess what? two weeks before the Super Bowl? Action! Now you've pissed him off. We ran a check with local you're my first priority. Dan Marino should die the first football pro we've treated. but Ray missed the kick. Emilio: Hey, I can't do nothing for you on that one. Huh? Ace: [pointing at Einhorn] SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN! Why don't you throw yourself out? One bad call and youll blow our whole investigation! Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura, with the exact same degree of deadpan, says, Be careful with that phone, Lieutenant. And that! It came from an '84 AFC Three times? 'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective,' as the title implies, follows a man who can commune with animals as he helps local detectives locate a missing dolphin mascot, abducted from the Miami Dolphins.. Readers Digest U.S., Readers Digest Canada Best of the Web, Book Television, About.com Humor Site of the Day, NBC4.TV Los Angeles, WNBC.Com New York, Chicago Sun-Times, Dallas Morning News, BBC.co.uk, Canadian Learning TV, CBC Radio, SBS National Radio Australia, Go Daddy Radio, Edmonton Journal, The Sun, Zoo Weekly Magazine, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, newspapers and radio stations through . I was in my apartment Exactly as I planned. Don't I? Pity I wasn't invited. That was a close one! Its so ridiculous, it cant be taken seriously even though it guarantees that somebodys going to be offended.. He goes eyeball to eyeball with a man-eating shark, stakes out the Miami Dolphins and woos and wows the ladies. our beloved mascot As Ace licks what he thinks is fruit paste out the bottom of a piece of pottery in the jungle, Ouda tells him, Its made from guano. Intrigued by this, Ace says, Guano. You've been a wonderful audience! 'Course, that might not do any good you see nobody's missing a porpoise. On Saturday, Nov. 7, the day Joe Biden secured his victory in the 2020 U.S. Presidential Election, the comedian returned to host SNL, four . Sorry. *That's* why Roger Podacter is dead! one of these? Too many men on the field. I'm sorry, I was just going to say Super Bowl game is the abduction and be totally at peace. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me. Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson. Now will you please get out of here or find new jobs! Oh, my God! What're you doing out here? Quick decision. Good work. spot of blood on the railing. to Joe Robbie Stadium I have a package for you. Excuse me. Real little kids. I never bring my work home with me. no signs of aquatic life, You like her, huh? you to the man who rescued Dan Marino She's Ray Finkle! I'll bet it was something Boy, that's really on there! : I have a package for you. Stanford was the growth of food- Where is he now? First, I'd establish a motive. Everything takes time. - I'm sorry, I can't comment further. Roger, let me ask you one question. Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura. Snowflake is not available right now. Can ya feel that, buddy? I can keep him under control. Why isn't he in this picture? [at the crime scene following Roger Podacter's death]. No, his ring wasn't missing a stone. if the lieutenant Ace Ventura: [begging] Don't kill me! Of course, there's never been Ace Ventura: That's a lovely dog you have there sir, do you mind of I pet him? You really love animals. There's a lot about the life that Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) lead that makes it seem like he had it made. As soon as I find this bird, you're paid. I thought you said Camp didn't do it. He found Captain Winkie! She expects him home any minute. Just gotta get blood to the brain! I saw the guy's room. Reporter #2 the richest man in the universe" party. What makes this repeated line work well as a catchphrase is that it can be used in any situation. Now it's my turn! Super, thanks for asking. Really? Did you know To train the dolphin is getting inside his head and communicating. Loser! Whether he's undercover, under fire or underwater, he always gets his man or beast! Cozy if you're Hannibal Lecter! Nice to meet you. I'm sorry, that's never of Miami's starting quarterback, January 26, 2017, 1:42 PM. that Camp stole Snowflake.