This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. You know what they want? Individualists. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. It will not be with jack-boots. After that, they don't want to know about you. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. ", 84. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Theyre not interested in that. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. The rights and the rights of property. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. The truth is that George Carlin would be branded a left-wing nut job who has pie-in-the-sky ideas and wants people to collect money for doing nothing. ", 122. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. On Election Day, I stay home. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. The truth is, we dont have people like that. ", 124. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. 43. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. They dont want that. "I put a dollar in a change machine. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? He's not a cheese. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. The domain of this cookie is owned byOracle Eloqua. They dont want to hear from you. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. They don't want to hear from you . Theyre not interested in that. Others see it half empty. ", 121. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. They've got the judges in their back pockets. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. Which doesn't make any sense at all. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Never join a group that has a name. "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? No president has done right by us. ", 87. You voted them in. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. They dont care about you at all. ", 50. They own everything. "People are fucking nuts. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. "We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. They own all the important land. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Then you're just what they're looking for. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. Yeah, the public sucks. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. I think the life cycle is all backwards. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. he was a conservative. 1. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. ", 15. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. No nothing. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? (LogOut/ ", 100. the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. ", 114. ", 68. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. Everyone Practices Cancel Culture | Opinion, Deplatforming Free Speech is Dangerous | Opinion. You have owners. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. Its because volunteers work for no pay. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. This is what we have to offer. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' George Carlin was a comedian and social critic. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. ", 23. He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 His entire bit is included in the nearly two-minute video perfectly conjoined with photos of Trump and the results of his administration flood the screen. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. Well, we know what they want. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. AddThis sets this cookie to ensure that the updated count is seen when one shares a page and returns to it, before the share count cache is updated. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. Let's start with critical race theory. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. You have owners. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. By programmers in one hour. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. We're so self-important. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. They own and control the corporations. ", 16. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store information about when a visitor has visited the site before. ", 17. I took his shoes. Over time, though, his success grew. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. ", 90. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. [5] And another one: American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. - Arthur Baer. They own you. He always needs money! "How is it possible to have a civil war? The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. "Forget the politicians. Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. Now, some people like to twist that around. And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. They should be giving their money to you. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 35. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. You don't. You have no choice. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. ", 109. It's so f**kin' heroic. They will do anything for the unborn. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. They don't fall out of the sky. ", 3. "Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) A cat . "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Teach them to question what they read. The people are f**ked. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 ", 92. ", 94. ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. ", 5. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. You don't say that about cats. They're all in favor of the unborn. The 1996 clip is being passed around on social media after this week's Supreme Court news. George Carlin on The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder 1998 RayHamburger 95K views 4 years ago George Carlin on the Illusion of Choice in Politics. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ", 29. Germany lost the Second World War. ", 46. I don't trust none of them. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously.
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